Basic foundation of a relationship: God and you.

There are longings in our hearts that we know only God can satisfy. And so we seek God. We seek and seek and seek. My longings led me to believe that i need to do something to be acceptable to God. To grab his attention I must work on being good. I must be in constant prayerful state of mind, to be in constant communion with Him, to feel his presence every single moment of my life. I know this sounds so beautiful. But one day, all those just crumbles. I was tired. So tired. I figured, I cannot be good. I'm tired of being good. I'm tired of the idea of doing things because i know this would please God. I came to the point that i just don't care anymore. And then i cried and cried.


I asked myself, Why am i seeking you? And i realized that I seek God because i want to be happy. Why do I want to be happy? Because life is meaningless without joy. Then why am i seeking God? Because i believe He can make me happy. Why? Because I know he can give me wisdom to be able to be succesful. Then it hit me. I seek God out of my own personal ambitions. I did not really seek him because I want to make him happy. I did not do all those things because i love him. And i cried and cried. I told Him how i felt. I told him that i am tired, and that i am so sorry because the truth is- i seek you not because i love you, but because of the many things i want in life. I want to please you because i know only you can give me those things. I felt ashamed but i was so bold. I told him everything. I told him that I want to be honest with you. I told him, If you want you can make me love you. If you want you can change my heart. And then a voice in my heart said, You dont have to do anything to please me. You dont have to do anything to make me want to love you. I just want you to be truthful with me. And then i fell asleep.


I woke up feeling good. I realized that GOd just wants us to be truthful with ourselves. To say anything; to say what we truly feel. To be honest with him. Because that is how he can help us. In every relationgship i now realize that it is fundamental to lay down everything and build on the foundation of honesty. God's only requirement is for us to be truthful with our own selves, and nothing else. Then that is how we start to grow.


P.S. It feels so so good to have someone whom you can truly be honest with. 

Chief Justice Renato Corona: Guilty!

Today, May 29, 2012, Tuesday, The Chief Justice of the Philippines Renato Corona, who has been under trial for for 43 days, has been found guilty as charged under Article 2: which  alleged that Corona betrayed public trust and/or committed culpable violation of the Constitution for his failure to disclose his statements of assets, liabilities and net worth (SALN). Char.

The judgement against Corona proves that there is still hope for us the Philippines. it is a step forward to a much brighter future. And i am happy with it. Kudos to all the senator-judges and to the prosecutors and to the defense as well. The ride was highly entertaining(esp mention 2 senator Miriam Santiago haha). Now my dad and i wont have anything to look forward to every 2pm in the afternoon. Sad.

Below are the 20 list of senators who convicted the Chief Justice:

Edgardo Angara

Alan Peter Cayetano

Pia Cayetano

 Franklin Drilon

Francis Escudero

Jose "Jinggoy" Estrad

TG Guingona

Gringo Honasan

Panfilo Lacson

Lito Lapid

Loren Legarda

Sergio Osmena III

Kiko Pangilinan

Koko Pimentel

Ralph Recto

Bong Revilla

Tito Sotto

Antonio Trillanes

Manny Villar

Juan Ponce Enrile(the presiding officer)

And below are the 3 senators who voted for Corona's aquittal:

Joker Arroyo

Miriam Santiago

Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr.

For me, as a simple Filipino Citizen,  trust is essential for  a public official. If the people no loger trust those who leads then their is no hope for progress. We the people do things for the government because we trust that  the government will protect and do its best for us. We want those who will lead us to be truthful. And if that trust is betrayed then by all means you are no longer fit to serve.

The Tales of the Trees

Because this is beautiful, i want to share it with all of you...The Tales of the Trees.

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean. "I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world!" The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me, they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world."
Years passed and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" the first tree said. The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!" The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me." He muttered. With a swoop of his shining ax the third tree fell.
The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, nor with treasure. She was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty ship was made that day. Instead, the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river. Instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."
Many, many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I could make a cradle for him," her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and the sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful," she said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.
One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the King of heaven and earth.
One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.
That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.
So the next time you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better to give you.

-Local Folktales, author unknown.

 ***

You will never know where you will end up. But trust that it's gonna be beautiful. We are loved. And i love you.

This dance.

I want to dance in your infinite beauty.

So I may not look for anything else than you.

I want to immerse myself in the beauty of your holiness.

But how would I be able to do that?

Every time I contemplate your holiness,

I am made aware of my own wickedness;

Of the filth in my soul,

Of my ugly stains,

Of my many imperfections,

I am made aware that I can never be worthy

Of your presence,

I have lost the fight,

For a millionth time,

But you never seemed to mind my losing.

Maybe you think it is necessary for me to lose,

But I am covered with shame every time.

This soul wants to be free.

How long oh God,

Would it take me to enjoy your presence?

Without feeling guilty

Of what I maybe to you.

***

 

But as Rumi would say, I shall come and come again for a millionth time, even if I have broken my vows. And you will have no choice, but to accept me, or rather to make myself accept me in the beauty of your presence.

How to get an NBI clearance

I went to the National Bureau of Investigation this morning to get an NBI clearance because our company required us to get one. But, first let us define what an NBI is. According to Wikipedia,

The National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) (Filipino: Pambansang Kawanihan ng Pagsisiyasat) (PKP), is an agency of the Philippine government under the Department of Justice, responsible for handling and solving major high profile cases that are in the interest of the nation.

Below are the steps and requirements on how to get an NBI clearance.

Requirements:
1. 1 Valid ID
2. Php. 115

Steps:
1. Have your valid ID ready, get a form(which serves as a priority no.) and fill it up.
2. Pay Php. 115 to the cashier.
3. Check if your name is entered correctly in the computer.
4. Get inside the office to get yourself identified(picture and thumb prints).
5. Wait for your clearance to be released.

Fairly easy right? But the thing is, a lot of people would come to request for a  record clearance every single day. In our City, Cagayan de Oro, [the office of the NBI is located at Provincial Capitol Compound], with a population of 602,088(according to 2010 census); 500 people a day are entertained by the NBI, and more than 500 would come. They usually open at 8:00 A.M. and priority numbers are released at 6:00 in the morning. I went at 5:00 A.M and the priority number that i got was number 168. I finished processing by 11:30 A.M., that is like more than 6 hours of waiting. Good thing i brought a book with me. It kept me from getting bored after my colleagues left.

Now, if you have so much thing to do in the morning, or just want to save time, my advice is that you come at the NBI office by 6:00-6:30 A.M to get a priority number. Odds are, the number you would probably get is from 300 to 500. Priority numbers from 1-250 are entertained in the morning and the rest are in the afternoon. So it would likely be that your number would be called by afternoon. After getting your form, fill it up and then comeback by afternoon. That way, you wont have much time wasted. (Note: This advice may not apply to cities with larger population like Manila or Cebu, in such case, it would be wise to come as early as possible)

Poem at the Moment

This has nothing to do with the poem. 
I just thought their friendship's beautiful.
I took this photo in Camp Philips. 
Kids know what life is really about. Free.

---

I feel like a vessel

So empty

I have no dreams

And it scares me

I'm not much of an

Emo type either

Right now 

I am just is

And I don't know

How to feel

About that

I am not afraid of 

The future

It's just that

I haven't really

Figured out

What I really want

I feel like time

Is running away

I don't want it

To pass me by

So i kind of grab

My brush,

Tried to paint

Hoping this would 

Be it for me.

But then again my work

Doesn't look that good

I figured maybe 

I'd like to try writing

So I read books 

As many as I can,

Then I write and write,

Wondering if this would

Be of value to my readers,

That is, if I have one,

But I do have one, 

And I’m glad.

I don't really much know

About anything,

Sometimes it would bother me.

I tried to read books,

Gather information on the net

just to close the gap

Of not knowing much.

But I don't really want

To know much.

I just want to know

Something about

Things I care.

I don't have many things

I care about,

Only God

I wonder really if he

Has all the answers.

I know he has.

I want to get those

Answers.

Maybe because 

I would really

Like to become

Somebody.

Somebody I would

Really 

Be 

Proud of.

This is me trying to get my thoughts on paper. I wonder if anybody feels the same way that I do now. 
Thanks for reading anyway. And to the one who I think cares enough to check on me by reading my blog, thank you. 

Gratitude List

Oh my! I have to tell you how delighted I was to see your name on my Google friend connect. You have no idea how honored I felt. To Natalie of Vanilerry Garden, thank you. (I hope u get to read this) 

To buzz lightyear of Black Swamp Cornucopia, thank you for the Versatile Blogger Award. I wasn't expecting that! Thank you so much! 

 

Abba-cakes thank you. Always and always, draw me near to you.