I have not been constant - in prayer, in studies,
and in everything i deem important.
Standing on feeble ground; building my hut
on the sand.
You knocked on my door and I let you in.
Has it been raining? You don't look fine.
Your heart's blue; sadness engulfing you.
You told me things of woe.
I hope anyone wouldn't come to know.
Death's been whispering in your thoughts.
It has grown on you.
Your spiritual warfare's so real
Battle smoke I could smell.
Along came many scruples with it.
Don't think too much,
don’t think too much…
I wanted so bad to pray with you.
Can I pray with you? -
this i did not dare ask.
I doubt my heart could stand the task.
I'm not as steadfast as I like.
You left with my "I'll pray for
you."
But you came back still in woe.
I knew I have here a work to do.
But what can I do?
I have no time to settle my doubts, my
fears -
my own storms I could not keep still.
I have not time for guilt.
I cannot rely on what I have built.
So today let’s just be you and me, and God
be God.
Let's be weak in our weakness, blind in
our blindness-
rest in our restlessness.
I'll pray for you and you pray with me.
God in our midst,
God in our weakness,
God in you and God in me.
Let mercy fall, let the day dawn,
let my heart break and let it mend.
I'll carry you and you carry me.
To the divine together
we shall surrender.
***
This is for the moment I first prayed over
someone. And for all the coming moments i will feel terrified to pray over
someone, I will always be found wanting but let mercy fall.
And no matter what, I will always
remember:
“There is a secret medicine given only to those who hurt so hard they
can't hope. The hopers would feel slighted if they knew.”
-Rumi
