The Fruit of My Labor

When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands, You will be happy and it will be well with you -  Psalm 128:2


How sweet it is to enjoy the fruit of your labor. To literally see and touch what you have worked for, Ah, it is pure bliss! If you have read my previous post about my lemon tree and how excited i was to see it bear fruit and how i planned to have my own garden  hehe. I am glad to say to you now that my plant is now bearing fruits and 5 fruits at that! I know sometimes i forget to water them daily but i try my best. You have to know that touching the fruits makes me giddy and happy all over.

Here is before

...and after.

I am one proud gardener! haha if i can be called that. I am waiting for the fruits to turn yellow. yay! The fruits are heavy, as you can see i have to make the handle of the hammer support its trunks. haha. And i also have a lemonsito, visayan term for small lemon. I bought it last January in Balingasag during the fiesta. 

A closer look...

Yay! I know im awesome like that. I currently water 3 plants (i have tambis too). I think i'm on my way to having my own garden. These are just one of my simple joys. I love taking care of plants more than animals for the reason that they are just quiet and peaceful. They dont complain when i forget to water them for a couple of days- they just die; and im feeling guilty because 2 of my plants died already.(2 bonsai which cost Php 150 total) I was really sad about it, the weather these days are so hot; but i cant blame the weather i know. I have to be more responsible. Anyways, I am happy with what i have now. 

And of course i can't end this post without showing you my dad's plants too. His are orchids! It flowered last year with yellow and white colors on their petals. It was so beautiful.

My dad made those wooden thing with the platinum handles that the orchids are clinging to. My dad is awesome like that too huh?  :)

Looking neat. He waters them daily too. And bring them out ever so often to enjoy the sun.

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Things im grateful for today

1. I'm grateful for chang2 who invited us to her Herbalife chuva in Dynasty Hotel. I was so hungry before the seminar and the food they served was awesome. Need i mention i was lost before that? I know it could only happen to me. haha. The seminar was on the 7th floor but i ended up on the 5th floor so i did a little tour(esey). I actually learned a lot from the seminar about good health and good nutrition. I was inspired. 

2. I'm grateful for Eva and Cute. Haha. It was fun cheering the two of them to loose weight. I took pictures of them so i can document their before and after transformation, just in case they decide to take on the task to loose the so called fats. Hehe but i love them the way they are, i will love them more if they could love and be proud with their bodies. Go ladies! I am all for you being sexy!

3. And lastly i am grateful for my new mobile phone. It's a samsung galaxy young which my cousin lend to me for half the original price. I am indeed under God's unprecedented favor. yay! I dont text much. I can go on without my phone for a year! BUt you know i have friends. I need to stay connected so i have to have one. I downloaded a lot of games and books on it. Most of the time i use it just to play and read ebooks and take pictures. Those pictures above are taken from my phone. I am happy. :)

The Right Decision

Sometimes we find ourselves asking if the decisions we made were the right ones.

What would make us feel that yes the decision we made was right?

 Are there such guidelines for these? Of course assessing your situation is fundamental, calculating the risks and benefits are essential. But what would take us to make that leap to take the first step to decide and do it?

And when is the right time? Especially if the decision is life changing in a way that it is a big thing for you.

Here are some questions that I found answers while asking God. You know that small, small voice that you know in your heart is true.

How would I know if my decision is right or best for me?

 If you can find love in your every decision, then that decision is best for you. Do not make the mistake of harboring hatred or negativity against yourself or anyone once you have made a decision. If that decision has love or was made because you found love on that decision, then don't worry. Just let the negativity go; feelings come and go, but the decision made out of love stays. It will never fail.

Because sometimes I get so drama, I asked God these questions (listed down below). Sometimes we human need to be re-assured. I want to be assured. Every girl wants an assurance of love I think.

Are you angry at me Father Dear?

Sometimes I do.(Whattttt? haha) But you know, I decided to make you. And you can tell that that decision was born out of love. I love you. My love for you will never fail. I am love and you are my decision. Take comfort in that.

That was reassuring indeed! What a loving Father we have! eeet.   :)

Sometimes I  fluctuate. I'm like a switch. This time I'm good and hours later I'm bad. How can one be faithful?

 Fractions, life is made up of moments. And in every moment there is a decision to make.

Either to love or not to love, not to love is fear, anxiety, jealousy, and the like. Life to the full is love; every single moment.

Life is not lived by seconds but by moments. Moment by moment is every breath you take than every second you experience.

SO BREATH THIS MOMENT.

Imagine.

See.

Experience life.

Pulsate!

And above all choose to decide in love!

What Is It Really Like To Truly Care?

What makes a person care about someone?

Is it blood?  Friendship?  Community?

What truly makes a person care for other people?

I have this person in my life that truly tests my patience. When I am with her, I feel bad about myself. My walls are up and I am ready to find faults. I don't want to feel this way and i am sorry if I keep feeling this way. When I am with her I LIE - I just can’t speak the truth. I have no courage at all. She dis-empowers me and I am completely helpless.

I know she's turmoil. She carries too much burden. I can feel it and it's heavy. She's too trusting. She's needy, too needy for love and attention. And I have pampered her. Now, she is becoming a sucker of my energy. And she comes weekly! (Oh my, why do you have to do that?)

I am not saying that she's a bad person. No not at all. She's sweet, childlike, and straightforward, she talks too much sometimes and she is very opinionated. She readily laughs when people throw jokes at her. She even made me feel special one time, lightened up my day and lifted up my thoughts. All this negativity I feel about her are MY REACTIONS/FEELINGS towards her. I am dishonest and coward most of the time when we talk.

She makes me hate myself.

I want to love her. I want to care for her. But I have no idea how to be courageous enough to tell her what she needs to hear. I have no idea how to tell her the truth.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way about her. Almost all of us do. In fact we are convinced that she has an attitude problem; we have no proof how to determine this things but it's very evident (but could it be that she just lacks attention?...love? ... appreciation?....acknowledgement?)  People sometimes don’t pay her any attention. But I don’t want to give up on her. Who am I to give up when God has not given up on me?

She needs me and she comes to me. I don't want to feel like exploding every time she comes to see me, because every time she does, she asks something of me; time and money (I don’t care about the money, for as long as I have something to give. lol.) I care about how I feel about her, how I treat her, how I am when she is around being needy.

I want to tell her that she needs to stop lying to herself.

SHE NEEDS TO STOP IT! And I've GOT TO TELL HER!

I want her to realize the power of being true to oneself but she dis-empowers me with that very power.

I need her. Yes, i need her so i can overcome my fears of hurting her if i say what i truly feel and think about her.  I need her so i can learn how to truly and genuinely care with no expectations of return at all. I need her so i can be sincere. Stop all the hypocrisy and start caring for people not because you need something from them but because you just truly care. And i want to care.

I want to open up my heart wide enough to feel her pain. I want to give till it hurts, but not time and money; I want to give her the truth. I want to give her my honesty.

 xxx

A note to people who personally know me: I wrote this not for you to ponder who this person might be but for you to learn from my situation or better yet suggest a solution *wink. And if you have similar stories to tell, let's talk about it, not the person involved but how to better the situation. :) Thank you.